Spontaneous combustion, I explained, was an unusual but not unknown phenomenon. Sometimes the wiring inside shorts. Sparks create flames that set the whole body to burning so bright only ash remains.
I wonder what ecstasies… every possibility turned on at once … … everything getting its due, losing a last war with all its heroic forces, breaking everything to be… … ecstasy … surety.
If I were able to choose my form of death, I would choose spontaneous combustion. Let all consciousness loose at once. Race like an angel into the world, an invisible man stepping outside of himself and running through the air: a disembodied spirit to grip some anchorage and stay, in some new way.
If only I could bring pen and paper and make some record of it, write the machinations of people and places, buildings rising and falling to ruin, wars decided, all secrets diminished to plain and unnecessary truths, everything glowing with vectors, all the urging toward unique forms… … …
And even further: find the dreams that drive the cogs of it all, whatever they are.
bigfoot, The Light on the Hillbigfoot, The Light on the Hill
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